Hand Me a Gun....NOW!

I'm beyond annoyed, pissed, angry, whatever word I can use! There are so many things I'm thinking about right now, that's pushing me over the edge. I'm going to lose it soon.

1. My dad left this morning for his first three months in Angola. I'm very worried, as I am old enough to be aware of my dad being gone, in another country. When I was 5, he spent a few months in Argentina, but of course....I wasn't that aware of it. I'm also a bit sad.

2. I'm a bit sad for my mom. ONLY A BIT. I'm more angry with my mom. I'm stuck in an house alone, with HER, forever! This woman will now take out her frustration on ME. I will be her only outlet for anger, frustration, everything. SHE DOES NOT DEAL WITH THOSE THINGS IN A SANE MANNER. I really don't know how I will deal with it. I don't usually deal with it well. I'm very mean to her, but really don't like being mean to her, especially since instead of listening to a damn word I say, that would HELP her, she ignores it. She keeps telling me I'm the one who instigates, I'm the one who wants confusion. I'm the one who likes controversy, and who gets angry easily, and who makes a bigger deal out of things than it is. Yes, I'm also the one that screams like she's about to die, the second the dog walks out the door. Yes, that's ME, not HER.

3. These people, that I have to talk to, PISS ME OFF with their demands, and impatience. Luckily the people I've spoken to have been polite....SO FAR, today. One of the stupid sales people here gave a client my number. MY DIRECT LINE. I have come this far on the job with no client knowing my number. I DO NOT NEED CLIENTS CALLING ME DIRECTLY. What the FUCK is that woman's problem.

Other than that, I'm dandy...I guess. I feel much better. The fact that I was as miserable as I was on Tuesday seems so long ago, almost like it never happened. The thing is, I haven't worked out in a week and a half, adding to my frustration. I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO WORK OUT. Not being able to breathe due to congestion and sinus pressure kept me from working out. Sure, I could have huffed and blew snot out every time I took a breath, but....when sick, your body needs rest. Rest, sleep, sufficient down time, is VERY IMPORTANT TO YOUR HEALTH, and BODY!

OK, time to let out some steam.................

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(p.s. the gun is not to shoot myself or another person. The gun is to go to a shooting range for some aggression release. Either that or, a punching bag please)