Turn Things Around.

So, I had my chance to feel sorry for myself. I really need to stop doing that. It's BAD for me. I don't get anything done, just make myself feel worse. I got the swift kick to the head that I needed to realize that I need to GET OVER IT!

I'm really going to make a conscious effort to do the things in my life that take my mind off the things that are not necessary. I have to indulge more in my hobbies, more in my goals. I have to indulge more in myself. Not in a self obsessed way, like I usually do, but in a, DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE INSTEAD OF SIT AROUND AND FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF sort of way.

Where to begin? Maybe I'll take a long shower and think about it. I was talking to my trainer about life, and he asked me when I take the time and just think about myself, and just sit in the quiet and have peace. I told him, truthfully, "I don't even take long enough showers to do that". I really don't know how to relax. Even when I'm sitting doing nothing, I'm fidgeting. I'm pinching my fat. I'm pulling at my eyebrow hair!

I guess I'm obsessive. I need to be obsessive with more productive things. My running, tennis, my photography, cooking, reading, hanging out with people. Those are the things I really do enjoy. Those are the things I need to concentrate on, so I don't have time to think about what I'm not getting to do.

Shockingly enough, I DO feel better right now. I didn't even really have a work out. I spent half my session talking to my trainer. He had really good advice. I had heard a lot of it before, but, I needed to hear them tonight.

Speaking of working out....I'm still toxic from all the chemicals I put in my body recently, and I'm tired. He wouldn't let me finish my work out.

Wishing Others Would Fail....Just Like Me.

At 24, what do I have:

- A loving boyfriend.

- A car.
- A dog.
- A roof over my head.
- Low debt.
- A great credit score.
- A pretty good paying job.
- My health. No known illnesses or causes for concern.
- Both my parents, my brothers, their wives, their children.

What I don't have in my life:

The things that I want that people I know have, and I don't because I wasted the opportunities.

I want to be able to run races, at great times. I want to be fit, and athletic, looking, and performing. I want to be thinner. I want to have a job that I actually deserve to have, and not what my stupid GPA says I should have right now. I want my GPA to not have sucked so badly so that I could have that job right now.

I'm in deep anxiety, and pain at the thought that SHE is a triathlete. SHE runs races all the time. I don't know what SHE is up to anymore, but I know that SHE would be considered more athletic than me.

I found out my ex, who was in the Army, who was in Iraq, who I completely passed off as a waste of time, just got admitted to UT to do electrical engineering and computer science. He's looking into his masters, and has a 3.9 from the junior college, going in. He's gonna end up making more money than me most likely. He'll most likely get a grad degree before me.

I got myself fit a few years ago, and let that go to waste. Now I'm fat, OBESE fat. OBESE is the term for my body fat percent. I struggle to keep up with my proper eating habits, allowing myself to splurge when I feel like it. Because I'm not as active as I'd like to be, during the day, I can't afford those splurges. If I could make myself wake up at 615 every morning, and even just take my dog for a walk, I'd benifit, but I don't not yet!

I wasted my time the first two years of college. When I finally had no choice, I smartened up and did well in my classes. If I didn't waste the first two years of college, my life would be a bit different. I might be more successful. I might not feel like a failure. I might actually be where my peers are, doing the things my peers do, making the money they do, and living the life they do. Instead, I'm below that. I know I make a lot of money for someone my age. That doesn't mean I can afford the car I want. That doesn't mean I'm making as much as I could. That doesn't mean that I'm content. My brother is a freaking prodigy. My other brother is raking in the cash, well respected at his job. I'm NOTHING.

I really wish I could be extremely happy for people and their success. I really wish that I could get over myself and stop feeling sorry for myself and actually do the things in my life that would make me successful, the things I want to do. Instead, I just have that feeling, in my stomach, deep down, that makes me feel like crying. I don't get the compliments from other people about my throwing ability, or my running ability. I guess I get complimented at work for how "smart" I am. Too bad a major operator doesn't see that. All they see is a FUCKING GPA that has NOTHING to do with what I'm capable of.

In the end, I just don't feel that successful. I don't have many close friends. I don't get along that great with my family. What do I really have? I don't know how to just be happy! I just want and want and want. I want to be successful by having a great job, one that I like a lot. I want to be successful by finishing a triathlon. Something I've wanted to do for a long time.

I'm too materialistic, and self obsessed. I just like to be left alone, to do nothing. I'd rather self loathe. God I feel pathetic.

Wishin' and Hopin'

Annie Leibovitz got a lot of crap lately for taking a half naked picture of Miley Cyrus. While I think 15 year olds don't need to be duing partial nudity photo shoots for the sake of art, when their fan base is younger than 15 years old, I do think that the photographer is pretty impressive. Granted, any photographer, especially a world reknown one, is pretty impressive to my untrained self.

I just realized today that she is the photographer behind the series of Disney photographs featuring celebrities. I really like those pictures, because it adds the human element to fantastic and annimated characters.

I came across one of her most recent ones. This one brings out the dreamer in me, the kid, the idea of magic, the way Disney intends. This one involves a world class, record breaking swimmer, Michael Phelps. I too wish I could be a mermaid, captured for the ages, the way he has been in this picture. He's the one in the foreground. Granted...he looks silly, but...he IS a fishie in that picture. I am only a fishie in my heart!

Hand Me a Gun....NOW!

I'm beyond annoyed, pissed, angry, whatever word I can use! There are so many things I'm thinking about right now, that's pushing me over the edge. I'm going to lose it soon.

1. My dad left this morning for his first three months in Angola. I'm very worried, as I am old enough to be aware of my dad being gone, in another country. When I was 5, he spent a few months in Argentina, but of course....I wasn't that aware of it. I'm also a bit sad.

2. I'm a bit sad for my mom. ONLY A BIT. I'm more angry with my mom. I'm stuck in an house alone, with HER, forever! This woman will now take out her frustration on ME. I will be her only outlet for anger, frustration, everything. SHE DOES NOT DEAL WITH THOSE THINGS IN A SANE MANNER. I really don't know how I will deal with it. I don't usually deal with it well. I'm very mean to her, but really don't like being mean to her, especially since instead of listening to a damn word I say, that would HELP her, she ignores it. She keeps telling me I'm the one who instigates, I'm the one who wants confusion. I'm the one who likes controversy, and who gets angry easily, and who makes a bigger deal out of things than it is. Yes, I'm also the one that screams like she's about to die, the second the dog walks out the door. Yes, that's ME, not HER.

3. These people, that I have to talk to, PISS ME OFF with their demands, and impatience. Luckily the people I've spoken to have been polite....SO FAR, today. One of the stupid sales people here gave a client my number. MY DIRECT LINE. I have come this far on the job with no client knowing my number. I DO NOT NEED CLIENTS CALLING ME DIRECTLY. What the FUCK is that woman's problem.

Other than that, I'm dandy...I guess. I feel much better. The fact that I was as miserable as I was on Tuesday seems so long ago, almost like it never happened. The thing is, I haven't worked out in a week and a half, adding to my frustration. I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO WORK OUT. Not being able to breathe due to congestion and sinus pressure kept me from working out. Sure, I could have huffed and blew snot out every time I took a breath, but....when sick, your body needs rest. Rest, sleep, sufficient down time, is VERY IMPORTANT TO YOUR HEALTH, and BODY!

OK, time to let out some steam.................

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(p.s. the gun is not to shoot myself or another person. The gun is to go to a shooting range for some aggression release. Either that or, a punching bag please)

Damn, Dubai!!

I want to go to Dubai, just to check out the architecture. After this thing goes up....HOT DAWG! It's amazing. I highly disagree with their world and palm tree "islands", but it's still amazing.

Under Parental Care.

I've been sick for a while. Yesterday was the worst. I had major sinus pressure, drippage, sneezing, some coughing, and all around fatigue. It wasn't until I took a claritin yesterday that I started to feel a little better. Turns out, it might be allergies after all. DANG IT! I've gone my whole life saying I didn't have any allergies. I still have no KNOWN allergies, other than being allergic to mosquitoes (since I swell up like a freak when I get bitten). Claritin was the magic pill out of about 6 pills that I tried over the past few days. Over the weekend, I took Dayquil, which helped with the pain and sucky feeling, and congestion. Since monday though, I took things for congestion, like Sudafed, Musinex, and finally Claritin. The Sudafed and Musinex made the drippage extreme. Like, drippage that fell on my clothes. I was lucky to catch my nose drippage, but the eye drippage wasn't always catchable...especially driving into the morning sun, sneezing a lot, and looking like a weeping wreck.

So, Monday I came to work. I even took calls, and sniffled and wipped the drippage while talking to the most irritattingly, stupid client. I went to my dad's going away party, met people, all the while, dripping secretly. By the time I came back, it was pretty sad, and Flo told me I didn't have to be there if I wasn't feeling well. So, I went home.

Yesterday, I drove in to work. Got here, and The Boss Lady heard me and saw me and said I should just go home. I had sneezed and teared up the whole way to work. My eyes were red, and swollen.

Today, no more drippage, just the nasaly congestion, the occasional sneezing, and fatigue. I didn't want to come to work today. I wanted to stay at home, sleep all day, and possibly go to teh doctor to get some "REAL" meds. I knew that being able to sleep all day today would mean a lot stronger me tomorrow. Conflicted by the decision to stay at home from work another day, when I didn't have the flu, I turned to my parents for advice.

I didn't like the answer I got. Basically, my parents said that because I was out a few days earlier this year with the flu, I should man up, walk it off, and go to work, so I don't get in trouble. F THAT! I'm at work, out of being mad that it's more important to not get fired than it is to actually take care of myself. Granted, I know I can't get fired. I can't get fired based simply on the fact that I am needed. With what I know about the software, and with the fact that I'm a HUGE contribution to this team, I am needed! There is no way I will get fired, unless of course I screw up royally somehow.

I've mentioned Denver before, who is sick a lot, who is gone at least one day every week. Who takes the day off when his kid is sick. Whose computer is down a lot. WHO WORKS FROM HOME!

Anyway, I'm here. I'm not dripping. I am a little out of it as I'm on edge from being hopped up on meds.

Last night, and the night before, I don't know if it's the meds, or low blood sugar, but, going to sleep was torture, cause I felt like throwing up. I was shaking, and felt like throwing up. On Monday night, I had to wake up and eat something cause I felt so crappy! This low blood sugar thing is getting serious.

Free Flowing.

Just after I wrote about how I was practically back on track with my work out and body goals, I got sick. OF COURSE I'd get sick when I'm back on track. Why else would I get sick.

So, Thursday night was the start of the fatigue and aches. It stretched through the weekend. Today, the right side of my face is free flowing. Drippy eyes, nose. Breathing through my mouth. Sinus pressure. Congestion. I have a cold AND I'm at work!

I just went to my dad's going away party at his work though. It was nice. It's kinda unreal that he's leaving for ANGOLA on Friday!! I won't see him for three months at a time. Now, not seeing him for three months at a time in college is not the same. Granted, that wasn't how long I'd go without at least seeing my parents, but, THREE MONTHS IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. Not only another country, but one where he is required to have a body guard at times. One where "In Case of Emergency" is days away. I think my mom will be EXTREMELY worried, and I think she cares a LOT more than she'll ever admit.

We had our little family dinner with him last night at a really nice french restuarant. He's just glad to go do something different, and something he'll find meaningful. He's lucky to get to go. I'm still waiting for my break with BP, start making the mula, start travelling.

MUST. GET. FRESH. AIR!

Why is it that some people just SMELL? Like, when we used to have to go into a classroom after grad students had been in there....it was something we hesitated a moment for. The room needed airing out. If anyone knows the reputation of the majority of Engineering students nationality, then they'd understand that the majority of Engineering students getting a Masters is a little more "concentrated" shall I say.

So, this IT chick came into the room the other day, cause our computers are getting a little more oomph added to them. She came in to check a few of them out, and on the other side of the cabinets, where I sit, I was just DYING. This woman was smelling up our little office.

She came back today, and this time, she was in here a WHILE. She had to come to my desk to give the computer more RAM. When I sat back down, I immediately wanted to stand right back up and run away. The smell was lingering, and it was INTENSE.

The Boss Lady got lucky. She had a meeting to go to, not to mention the sweet little personality that said, "I can't watch you take apart my computer, I'll freak out." So she left.

I ended up smelling my skin!

Now, I really don't mean to be mean, but, HOW DO YOU GET TO THE POINT WHERE YOU SMELL SO BADLY that it REALLY does affect the people around you! MY GOODNESS.

Getting Back Into Old Times.

Not a lot of people want to return to the past, but, I believe when it comes to my work out regimen, that is exactly where I want to be. On Tuesday, I got back to the 3 mile mark. Just a small accomplishment. My max before was just about 4 miles, but this time, I'm aiming much higher.

I'm talking half marathon....potentially full marathon, if not just triathlon. For this year though, my goal is just to run a 5k in a decent time, preferably under half hour. I knew I was capable of that a few years ago, I just never entered races back then.

Alas, I'm far from those goals, but...I'm feeling more and more capable. I've also gotten back into a better work out routine. Today will be my third day this week! Last week was 4 days! I hope to make it in on Saturday as well, making it 4 days this week. In my condition, I should be aiming for 5 days, but, 4 is better than 2.

I had been struggling with consistency up until last week, which was the first week with the trainer again. The only reason I really wanted to work out with him again was so I would actually GO, and thus would get me back into the routine.

The only thing different about my work outs and health all around, compared to a few years ago, is that I'm very much more aware of what I'm eating. I still eat junk and drink beer from time to time, but the quantity has gone down. Not to mention, the good things I put in outweigh the bad at this point. Make sure you get your protein. YOUR MUSCLES NEED PROTEIN, WHICH HELPS YOUR METABOLISM. MUSCLE HELPS BURN CALORIES MORE THAN FAT, which is why being lean is so much more important than just looking good. PROTEIN is also harder to digest which is what burns a lot of calories! That pretty much always been my goal. Of course, being lean and looking good almost go hand in hand.

I'm much more aware of what nutrients I put into my body. Did you know that darker beers, though higher in calories, have antioxidants. Which is why, if I don't have a light/low calorie beer when I go out, I'll have one dark one! (I'm not saying drinking is healthy, I'm just saying, you don't have to cut stuff out just cause you're "healthy". Be conscious!)

In Katy on a Saturday.

Today has been a little different than most of my Saturdays usually are. For the past two weekends, I've been in Katy, simply because I was looking after Roger, and my parents were out of the country.

Even though my mom is home, I'm in Katy today.

Last night, Chris, my mom and I went to dinner. Instead of going to Houston with Chris last night, I stayed in Katy. I figured, since Chris is working all day today, I might as well stay in Katy so my mom wouldn't be lonely at night.

I slept much later than I have in a really long time. I don't know when I last I got up after 12 on a Saturday. Usually 11 feels late. Granted, I did wake up several times between 6 and 1 taking Roger outside, or just picking up the toys he dropped behind the bed. I also got a few phone calls and texts.

I wanted to go to the gym today, and that's what I did. I had a great cardio work out on the treadmil and ab work out. I sweat a lot. I love sweating. It lets me know that I actually worked out well. I'm going to the mall in a while, and that'll be more "working out" since walking around the mall is much better for you than sitting at home doing nothing.

Yeah, it's weird being in Katy on a Saturday, but...I've already benefited from it.

I don't want to kill you, I just want to make you retarded.

Warning: I'm about to rant and be very not P.C. and oh yeah...swear a little!
FUCK P.C.

I watch way too much CSI, that I don't want to kill anyone. I just want to hurt people badly enough so that they're retarded for life. As retarded as the actions that makes me want to hurt them.

Take for instance the retard crossing the road today, with oncoming traffic that he had no reason to look at as he spoke on his cellphone. I wish that SUV hit him instead of slowed down for him to cross the street.

And the retarded parent that let her 3 year old little boy sit in the back seat, or shall I say kneel in the backseat, watching the cars out the rear windshield.

Most of all, what got me into this, non-attempted murderous rage was the stupid bitch that called me this evening, about 15 mins before I was going to leave, after getting myself into a better mood than the day started with. She called with a problem and when I asked questions, or asked to see what she was looking at, she acted as though I was so dumb for even having to ask. Well let me tell you something, woman, I'm not a fucking idiot sitting at a phone waiting for some douche to call me and cop an attitude while I look up a generic answer somewhere. I'm a fucking petroleum engineer, paid to take calls from whiny, "something MUST be wrong with the program cause I swear I didn't touch anything", idiots like YOU!

So, what I wish I could do is back slap all the 'tards in the world that do retarded things, and make them as retarded as they are. Make them physically or emotionally crippled for being 'tards. YES I flick off the old lady that honks at me when I'm avoiding getting stuck in the intersection. Yes, bitch, I know the light is green and I'm not going!

I'm angry and annoyed. And yes...I have PMS! Sue me!

Sickening!

When I lived in Trinidad, I was a stick. I got made fun of for being a stick. When I moved to the states, I was still a stick, but then I started playing competitive sports.

I started working out, bulking up, and played sports.

Then, I went to college, stopped working out, and playing sports, and got chunky.

Then, during college, I started working out, played a little bit of sports, and got skinny.

Then, during college, toward the end, I didn't work out as much, cause I was getting too skinny.

Then, I got a job, in this industry, at first, on rigs, and now, behind a desk. Thus, I'm practically a lardass. My body is so far gone from what its frame is built for, so far gone from what it actually is, that I'm disgusted.

So, what's sickening is seeing Trinidadian girls all over the place that are not lardasses, but are skinny, just cause...IF YOU'RE A TRINIDADIAN GIRL, being a lardass is UNACCEPTABLE.

Now, when I lived in Trindad, girls that were chubbier than me, would think I'm a porker, and they'd be the skinny ones now.

UGH, I'm such a monster. A big, 5'8'', 155lb monster, that wants to backslap all those skinny, attractive, "sexy", Trinidadian women! When I get back down to the 140 I've been aiming for, I might feel worthwhile again.

Word!

"The poll also found that Americans are working more and sleeping less. The average amount of sleep was six hours and 40 minutes a night. The average workday? Nine hours and 28 minutes. "

I read that on an article on CNN.com about Sleeping at Work.That sounds about right to me. I get about that much sleep. I start driving to work aroud 715am and I don't get back home until around 6pm.

I have permanent dark circles under my eyes too. It sucks.

Dead Woman Walking!

Yesterday was the first time I think I experienced a bad case of low blood sugar. Either that or mild salmonella poisoning (I had salsa from taco cabana)....I really don't know. What I do know is that after having two tacos for breakfast, around 1130, and then a cup of potentially strong coffee around maybe 130, I started seeing bright spots. I thought I had been staring at a light for a while, but, couldn't remember doing that. A bright star turned into a bright circle. I felt light headed, and tired. I lay down. Finally, I thought, I should just sleep and stop watching TV. When I got up to go to my room, I thought I was going to black out, because seeing was getting harder, and I was just so tired.

I managed to sleep for an hour, and felt slightly better. I had a headache though, and I was waiting for my parents to come home. It wasn't until 6 or so, when I had something to eat that I felt a bit better.

So yeah, I don't really know if it was the strong coffee (cause I was also very jittery) or the lack of eating, or both. I don't really know.

Today, and for the next two weeks, I will be "hosting" a "consultant" who will sit with me and listen to me answer questions from stupid clients. The reason I call her a "consultant" in quotes is because, she knows much less, like about 90% less than me about the product that she is supposed to be promoting, and probably gets paid more than me to promote. This highly pisses me off, especially since, until this morning, she did not realize that I have the degree I have, from the university I have. I THINK she was hushed by it.

Anyway, because she will be listening to me and my calls, I am responsible for taking as much calls as possible. That means, and Flo let the others know, that they have to make sure I'm not on the phone, and let me take it. WTF?! That's such crap. I already take my fair share of the work load, but to have everyone sit back and let me take calls? UGH. Not to mention, it's not like I'm training the chick, since she appears to know what she wants to know.

Oh well. For the next two weeks, I'll be working like a fiend. More so than usual. At least Mr. Insano realizes my woes and might help me out a little.

Oh yeah, this morning, after my cup of coffee, I had a slight relapse of yesterday. Maybe it is the coffee. *gasp* Say it ain't so.

And one more thing...I'm starting more training sessions tomorrow. That should actually help and not hinder my impending doom. It should help me with energy and help me not feel like a turd.

Natural Attraction.

When I take Roger outside, whatever time of the day, it takes about oh, 1 minute for me to have oh, three mosquito bites, or attempts. An attempt is when I actually see the mosquito and luckily, avoiding getting bitten.

There are times, when I look down, and see dark spots all over my skin. Though, they're not spots on my skin! They're blood sucking, pests that leave me with HUGE mounds.

Just the other morning, I came to work with a swollen hand, cause I got bitten on the top. Another time, I had a sausage finger, cause I got bitten near the knuckle.

Now, I'm very allergic to these things. So much so, that days after being bitten, if the area is so much as tickled, that could trigger me to itch.

IT SUCKS!!!!!!

Chris says I need more garlic. Does that really work? I really think that I'm the only one that attracts these suckers the most.

The worst though, right now I have two bites on two different toes!! Scratching your toes is hard, in the sense that you can't just sit at your desk, take of your shoes and go at it.

Night 3. Alone..with Roger.

Last night was the third night I had to stay alone in the house. The weekend doesn't count, cause Chris was with me. So, last night, I got dinner for me, and as soon as I got home, gave Roger his. He barely ate it, and then stared at me while I ate mine. It was GOOD. I had a gyro from Murphy's deli. No, not faaaaancy, but it was tasty all the same. While purchasing this yummy, badness, I had to listen to one of the trainers from my gym complain about people and their lack of commitment to a lifestyle change that would give them the results they so desire. To which I thought, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I was fit pretty much my whole life. I let myself go a little in college, but then when I started working out again, I ate all kinds of crap. I was down to 130 before I decided I couldn't work out that much, otherwise I'd be a stick again! THEN, I got a damn job, and I got fat! I don't work at a gym. I don't get to work out every day. Being in college is like a work out every day. I used to walk around all the time, and be outside most of the time. So, yeah. Stupid trainer with his rock hard body getting the freaking turkey mufaletta. I didn't say anything.

I did go home, scarf down my meal, then took Roger for a walk/run. I love taking that dog for walks. He gets so excited and happy. That makes me happy.

Too bad when I went outside with him, there was a teenage boy sitting on the curb across the street from my house. WHY? I went on my walk, roughly a mile, came back...he was still there! He was just sitting there, sometimes he'd be lying down, with a gallon of water, and what appeared to be a sketch book. He just creeped me out. Who sits on the curb on the street, not in front of any one house, and draws? Freaking weirdo.

I dropped Roger off, and went to the gym. I wasn't gone that long, but still...long enough. He was still there when I got back. That made me uneasy. That made me kinda mad. It was getting dark, and he was still there. I should have called the cops! Punk.

I didn't though. I just hoped that he wasn't stalking me, finding out my routine, finding out that I was in the house by myself. It didn't help that the flood lights on the side of the house turned on, with no wind or anything. That usually turns them on.

Being home alone sucks man. On one hand, I like it. I'm getting to actually live in my house, and not just in a room. When my parents are around, I confine myself to my room. It gets cramped.

I'd like the whole arrangement a lot more if it were a townhouse, or an apartment or something.

Straight Out Of The Camera.

These pictures are all from my camera, playing with a few settings. I have a simple camera. Some day I'll buy an SLR. Until then....I try. I could probably make my pictures look better if I do what all photographers do and use photoshop. I don't have that yet either.

The Weekend.

Chris spent the weekend with me. That helped with the creeped out factor. There were no scary movies this weekend though, especially not the Strangers. GOOD GRIEF. I didn't need to see the Strangers THIS weekend.

We had a good weekend. We took Roger for little walks. One of them was intended to be a little longer. Too bad he had a little accident.

When we started the walk, this man was walking his two dogs, one of them being a pint...maybe smaller than a pint sized yorkie. The yorkie was going nuts, from across the street. Because we had to cut the walk short and head back home, we managed to see the same guy with his two dogs, walking back to his house. The yorkie was still going nuts.

We walked maybe two seconds, and turned back to see the little devil, and *poof* he was gone. The guy was nowhere on the street. He must have turned the corner. Oh well, weird. ALL OF A SUDDEN. The little yorkie comes trotting up to us, all quiet and TINY. He was sooo cute. And then we picked him up.

Well, Chris picked him up, cause I was carrying a bag of poo, and holding the leash in my other hand. Chris picked him up, and then the little devil in him came out. He'd sit and be cute, and pretty for about a min, and then start squirming to the point that he could have been dropped...EASILY. What we wanted to know was...is that the exact same dog? Where the heck did the man go? Why the heck is he not looking for his dog? Does he not realize his little, itty, bitty, doggie was missing?

We walked to the closest cul de sac, the one that potentially could have been the one he went to. A man was at his car, and we asked him. It wasn't his dog, and he wasn't too sure what kinds his neighbours had.

I ended up taking the little yappy from Chris so that he could go knock on some doors. This required both my hands, so I put down the poo. I did this so that I could hold him better and not make him feel like he was gonna fall. Now, I half expected Roger to be this size when we bought him. Luckily, Roger turned out to be 14lbs, and not barely 2. The yorkie fit in one hand, but...because he was a little squirmy, I couldn't contain him, and had to put him down, at which point he went yapping after Roger. UGH! Stupid.

Luckily, the first door we knocked on, was his home. The lady came out and was like, "yeah, my husband came home and I was like, 'where's the dog?'" So, we got rid of that mess, arms scratched and a weird sticky substance on Chris' arm. I'm so glad Roger doesn't react with more than just a stare to other dogs.

So, after Chris left, it was just me and Roger. His nails had been bothering me for a while now. What bothered me more was that my parents lost his nail clipper. This annoyed me, and I KNEW it was because my mom put it in some random drawer. Even though I looked for it many times before, for some reason, it dawned on me the drawers that I KNEW she would put it in, that I may not have looked in them well enough. THERE IT WAS! So, I went to cutting, hoping that he'd indicate if he was in pain, got the back paws taken care of. Got to the front paws, and on the first one.....WE GOT A BLEEDER.

I felt HORRIBLE that I made him bleed. He gave his little yelp, only little though. I thought he'd be fine, then he started gushing! CRAP! I turned to get a paper towel, and then realized, CRAP, I left the dog on the washer. Turned around, only two steps away, picked him up, and then proceeded.

Poor baby. His paw was all bloodied up. The paper towel was bloodied up. He didn't seem to be in pain though. I on the other hand had thoughts that "I'm not gonna be a good mom!" "I killed the puppy!" "He's gonna bleed out and die!" I don't know what happens if a dog's nail is cut too short. I was nervous. I washed it, while pouting on the phone to Chris that I hurt my doggie. He stopped bleeding a little while later, and still licked it for a while. Then, he started running around like his usual self. He's a trooper!!

I'm gonna attempt cutting the rest of his nails though. I read up on the RIGHT way to cut dog's nails.